Wednesday, August 24, 2011

romance, wtf?

Everything I think I know about romance is wrong. I realized this today watching some cheesy love scene in some big Hollywood flick. I watch him slowly lean in to kiss her, one hand rested softly against her cheek and the romantic music soars in the background; they gaze adoringly into one another’s eyes. I think to myself why can’t I ever find that? Or something that looks like that?! I’m always settling for this ever familiar broken down, work in progress, great when it’s good and hard when it’s not kind of love affair. Where’s my fairy tale story? And just like that it hits me, fairy tale story. None of this is real, and that’s why I’ve never seen it in real life. So why do I believe in it so fervently? Well, because I am certain that what was modeled to me was wrong. I knew I was never seeing what it was supposed to look like as I was growing up, so what else is there for an impressionable young mind to do but believe that it’s supposed to be how it looks in the movies. How utterly devastating, and liberating, simultaneously, this is. I have no idea what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like, and if I really think that that’s what I want I better get to doing some research, so I’ll know it when I see it, and I’ll know how to do it when I can.

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