heart over head

ugh. something to say, today. find a way to express these wayward feelings. my brain seems to lay dormant in the face of so much emotion, like its finally come up against something it cant think its way through. i'm laughing, i'm crying, i'm mourning, i'm mad, its grief and its love and every other emotion i've ever had. the flood gates have begun to burst and im losing control of the flow, so carefully mediated by the dam of my mind, so properly moderated by the walls i had built. my oh so clever mind has no words to bestow in the face of such a raw and unrelenting flood of emotion. i guess this is what they call progress. my whole life has been spent denying emotion untill it seemed to dissapate, its never been safe to feel anything real and here i am today facing a lifetime of unexperienced emotion. ugh, its to say the least exhausting.