July 4, 2012

I stumble through the door drowsily to be greeted by my ever faithful furry friend. I slip off my high heels and appreciate the subtle comfort of my feet flat on the floor. I plug in my phone and my e-cigarette, both of which had dead batteries by the night's end. Changing into my pajamas I think briefly of the beautiful photo of me Jenna took tonight.
I am in awe of the power she has with her camera in hand.
The night had been a strange one, I must admit, but a 4th of July I'll never forget to be sure.

It was almost 8 pm when Jenna texted me, grumpy and bored. I was already in bed, watching television and feeling rather lonely. "Let's dress up and go out tonight!" The suggestion caught me off gaurd, but what else could I say but yes, knowing that isolation is not my friend.
I doned a red dress, with a flower in my hair, simple but classic and a quick way to feel good about myself. Jenna looked amazing in a little black vintage dress with her purple hair shining in the moonlight. We set off for 4th avanue for a drink and some much needed people watching. Alas, we find there are no people to watch. The avanue is dead and we amble from one empty bar to the next debating which flavor of bad to endure. As we walk the fireworks begin. We pause at a street corner to watch the fireworks illuminate the sky with all their colorful majesty. We had to laugh at ourselves there all dressed up with no where to go and yet so perfectly content to be standing on a street corner watching the show over the buildingtops. Somewhere in the distance a Rolling Stones song is playing, Jenna puts her arm around me and I effortlessly say I love you.
After much deliberation we settle into a quiet corner in a bar just off 4th and emesh ourselves in conversation. As per usual we talk about sex and love and personal growth. We talk about recovery from all sorts of things and we talk about existential dread. I wouldn't be anywhere else in the world if I could. We talk until we somehow seem to feel better about life, and find it's only nearing midnight. As we walk back to the car Jenna stops to take my picture in a well lit awning, and for a minute, I feel beautiful. The avenue is still dead as we head towards the car, and it feels as though the whole world has been laid out before us for this walk, on this night, and for nothing more. I breathe in deeply of the rain soaked air and appreciate the joy of being in the moment.