Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Wednesday morning musings

"Would you like some cereal?" Jenna asks me, "love some" I answer honestly. It's seven thirty in the morning and I'm seated cross legged on the red shag carpet in the middle of her living room. All the windows are open and the gentle morning sun wafts lazily into the room. The air is clean and crisp and a pleasure to breathe. We sit across from one another sipping coffee quietly and enjoying the peace and quiet. "So, what's the story?" Jenna always has the gift of cutting right to the heart of the matter. "I wish I knew" I answer honestly. The heart of the matter today happens to be my uncertainty. "You feel like helping me figure out what my brain is doing?" I ask only mildly facetiously. "Always" is her response. And of course what are friends for. I proceed to describe my dichotomous drives, I discuss my faith and my fear, I outline for her all of my scattered thoughts. Jenna listens to all these things with love, breaking in only occasionally for clarification. When I'm through Jenna asks all the really hard questions, forcing me into a whole new realm of introspection. I can't say I  actually know all the answers, but once we're through I can say I feel a little clarity, and a little peace of mind. I finish my bowl of cereal as the  conversation nears a close. As I'm getting ready to leave Jenna is in front of the bathroom mirror putting on her make up, and I'm sitting on the toilet watching. I'm so grateful for a mellow morning, starting my day out with coffee and conversation with such a good friend. As I head to work I'm singing along with love songs and smiling on the inside.

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